Inshallah...

This morning I woke up the happiest person in Darfur, but by lunch time I'd suffered a mood swing so severe it could register on the richter scale. My flight out of Geneina and into Khartoum for my R&R was supposed to leave this morning... Inshallah. Yet it is now 4pm and I'm still sitting at my desk. Let me explain:

Inshallah- (in-sha-allah) 1. n. the will of God; 2. n. the probability that something will or will not happen; 3. v. a polite way to say that something is never going to happen without anyone actually having to say no. synonyms: you wish, whatever, fat chance, nevermind

In Thailand I learned mai pen rai, in Gambia no problem. I think more often than not developing countries have some sort off phrase to brush off inefficiency. In Sudan, I've learned quickly that it is "inshallah".

Everything that happens, or doesn't happen more often than not, is the will of Allah.

If someone comes on time for a meeting it is Inshallah. If they don't come at all, then it is Inshallah too. If the flight is delayed, if it is cancelled for a week. If your packages arrive, if they have what you are shopping for at the market. Ishallah. Inshallah. Inshallah.

Will there be rain tonight? Inshallah
Will this year's harvest be good? Inshallah
Will there ever be peace in Sudan? Inshallah

If you don't have time to learn Arabic before coming to this country, you can just learn this word, it will get you pretty far. or sometimes no where at all.

Setting aside my frustrations of being here and not there, I have more thoughts about Inshallah. Somedays I am truly curious: Do people in this world around me believe that everything that happens is really all in God's plan? Is this a coping mechanism for existing in a world where nothing is reliable and things don't work more often than not?

I like the part of this faith that believes that God cares so much about little details, because I think He does. Yet sometimes it bothers me that the god of Inshallah can't ever seem to get anything to work.

I'm not sure if it is God's will that I'm stuck here today, or if it's just a coincidence of everyday Sudanese Inshallah, but I am thankful for one thing. My God has promised me that He will not give me more than I can bear- when His will is stretching, His grace is deep.

No flights tomorrow either. But they did say that maybe Thursday there will be a plane. Inshallah.

'maybe it will come tomorrow.'
'Inshallah"

It was helpful at this early stage of my trip to be reminded of the conflicting meanings of inshallah, which are: 'We hope' and 'Don't count on it'.
- Dark Star Safari (Paul Theroux)

needed: r&r

I always say that you know it is time to leave somewhere when your grace for the place begins to run out. This morning it happened… It is time to take my R&R.

I woke up too early from my restless night under my stuffy mosquito net and looked towards the open door to see if the dawn had brought enough light to wake up and read without my headlamp. Although there wasn’t enough light to wake me up completely, there was certainly enough to illuminate a strange figure running across my floor. In my sleepiness I calculated. It was too small to be the hedgehog that lives in our compound, yet, it was too big to be a lizard. I waited for it to move again. Wide awake now, when the animal got brave enough to cut across the room, I reached my arm out from the safety of my mosquito net and threw a shoe. It rolled up into a little ball- the harmless baby hedgehog- I was relieved… And then I watched as a rat ran by from the other direction. There are rats in my room… It is time to take my R&R.

I escaped to the outside world (which is relatively about 10 feet from where I was attempting to sleep before) and decided that since I was up early on my day off anyway, I’d boil some water to make some pseudo-coffee in my french press which is being held together by duct-tape (I’ll get a new one on R&R). I entered our “kitchen area” which my housemate and I generally refer to as typhoid corner, and fired up the stove (think what you take on a camping trip, not what is in your kitchen). The gas had been left on too high and my arm was nearly engulfed in a flame that singed all the fine little hairs off my right hand… All this for a cup of bad coffee when today I could really use a good latte…It is time to take my R&R.

I opened my laptop to capture these thoughts and was greeted by a big dried smashed bug just next to my Pentium 4 sticker- almost like a “windows Darfur” seal of approval. Something crunches when I hit the right arrow key and it sticks- what makes those small hard bugs want to get inside my keyboard anyway? … Daisy needs and R&R too.

I hung up the 12^th weekly inspiration card from my Tuesday Angel on my cupboard door this week, signifying that I’ve almost reached the half way point of my time here in Darfur. Thankfully it also signifies that I have earned my R&R just in time to correspond with my evaporation of grace for the roaches in the bathroom (which make the Anastasis wildlife seem mild), the flying ants that attack my face at night, and the cloud of flies that swarm around me even as I sit here typing at 7am… My 13^th week is R&R.

Today I will spend my day off doing my laundry by hand with the mystery blue powder soap and eat some ramen noodles- my luxury Friday food. But really I’ll be dreaming about next Friday when I will be feasting on yogurt and olives and sipping a latte at Nairobi Java… because my mind is already on R&R.

weekend prayers

The people of the United States should take a moment this weekend to remember those suffering in the ongoing conflict in Darfur according to a declaration of the US Congress designating this weekend of July 15-17 a national weekend of prayer and reflection for the people of Darfur.

The resolution “encourages the people of the United States to observe this weekend by praying for an end to the genocide and crimes against humanity" which have claimed an estimated 400,000 lives and affected more than 2.5 million more in the past two years.

Join the nation in praying this weekend for lasting peace in Darfur

• Pray for the Sudan peace process and the repercussions that the installation of the new national unity government in Khartoum last week will have on the peace of Darfur.
• Pray for the Darfur peace negotiations that will resume in August and that the government's recent promises to end the conflict would become a reality.
• Pray for a return to the peace and unity which once exist between the coexisting African and Arab populations in Darfur.
• Pray for the elected officials for the United States and the leaders of the world to recognize the crisis and engage with wise responses.

Pray for the suffering people of Darfur

• Pray that the insecurity of the region will not prevent international and national aid efforts from reaching the needy people.
• Pray for the hundreds of thousands of displaced people who don't have adequate shelter to keep them dry during the rainy season which has now started. Pray that the rains would not prevent aid from being able to reach them.
• Pray that the rains of the season would be adequate to grow good crops and to replenish the water supply so that there will not be drought or continued famine in the seasons to come.

Pray for the continuing work of World Relief in Darfur

• Pray for wisdom for medical staff and hygiene promoters during the critical time of the rains when malaria and water borne illnesses are at their peak.
• Pray for increased strength and health for the 400 malnourished children under five years old and the 600 pregnant and nursing women being served in World Relief’s supplementary feeding program.
• Pray that the efforts to supply 35,000 people with access to water will ease the tension that lack of water causes in the dry and sun scorched land of Darfur.
• Pray that the staple food crops recently planted by more than 8,000 families through the food security program would grow to yield a plentiful harvest for the coming year. Pray for the security of the women and children as they travel distances their villages to tend their crops.

“Merciful and compassionate Spirit
Be present to the suffering people of Sudan
Shelter the widows and the children
Comfort all who are weary and afraid
Bring relief to those who hunger and thirst
Center our thoughts with those who suffer in silence
Move us to recall our shared humanity
Unite us in our determination to respond to injustice
May we never forget! May we never forget!
Hear our prayer. Make our action swift.”

-From the United Nations

yankee in darfur

july4
Originally uploaded by wanderingzito.

I think these watering cans that I found at the tree nursery this morning are the closest I'm going to come to a picnic and fireworks today.

happy fourth of july.